Ray's Fantasy Football Notebook 2012: Week 6 Results

{Current Mood: Dumpy*}

Say,

I suppose all four people who follow my Fantasy Football Notebook 2012 entries are wondering exactly where my Week 6 Preview went. Truth be told, I honestly had no time to write one up. I see this as a good thing though because it made me decide to just stick with doing results recaps and saving myself a lot of time and energy.

I thought about doing a preview on Sunday morning before I embarked on my journey to New Philadelphia, PA to wrestle for Extreme Hybrid Wrestling (EHW) but that didn’t happen.

Speaking of which, I found myself in the MAIN EVENT of EHW’s “Hybrid Hell” and came agonizingly close to defeating “The Puerto Rican Pit Bull” Jr. Soba for the EHW United States Championship. It was a fantastic, back and forth match that left me with a huge knot on the back of my head and bruised ribs to the point where walking and breathing currently cause me discomfort, but at least I know the fans got their money’s worth as they always do when pro wrestling’s fav #RockStarRevolution comes to town.

But enough about me… actually that’s a lie since we’re going to continue talking about me.

Citizens of the Pond! ASSEMBLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

1) MONTOYA’S LEAGUE (12 teams, non-PPR, 2 QB, 3 Flex) (The Dayman) (5-1) (1st place in Division 2) (1st place overall) (1st in total points)

-The Teabaggers d. The Dayman by the score of 130.94 to 128.78-

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later. Some things working against me in this one: this was a revenge game for the Teabaggers who I defeated in last year’s championship game, he had Aaron Rodgers, I had Tim Tebow.

I don’t feel too bad about the loss being that, from looking at the box score, my team was way more balanced while his team was carried by Rodgers.

However, with the news of Jake Locker already being ruled out for this week, I’m kinda screwed being that Tim Tebow is the only QB on my roster who will be playing in a game this week. Add to that the fact that every single starting QB is rostered in this league, and I either have to trade for a QB or hope I can win with Tebow and an empty second QB slot.

I missed out on Brady Quinn on waivers last week, who I only even considered because he was starting and Tebow wasn’t, and that would’ve helped for this week too. And I feel it’s worth mentioning that I would’ve won this past week had I picked up and played Brady Quinn even though he had an abysmal game. Instead, someone else snagged him as their FIFTH QB.

I know you can start two QBs, but having five on your roster is completely unnecessary. But bad karma had its way with said team this week being that they were the only team in the league that failed to break 100 points.

Anyways, I made two moves this past week as I dropped Brandon Bolden and Bilal Powell for Vicktor Ballard and Ahman Alex Green. This is the only league I’m in where I can be last in waiver priority but still be able to claim arguably the hottest waiver pickup of the week (Green).

And technically I left this win on my bench being that I played Ballard over Green and would’ve won had I swapped them. What else is new?

It seemed to be the right call being that Green Bay had six passing TDs and the Colts had a dream matchup against a crappy run defense. Damn you John Cena for willing the Jets to victory so that the Colts couldn't run more and Sanchez must remain as the starter.

And how does Matt Ryan not obliterate the Raiders secondary? Most likely it’s because I picked Atlanta as my Survivor team this week.

In any case, the Dayman still has the league’s best record at 5-1 and still leads the league in points with 903.30 through six weeks.

-The Dayman- Week 6 Roster-

QB- Matt Ryan (11.46)

QB- Timmy T (1.62)

RB- Shady McCoy (10.80)

RB- Jamaal Charles (4.70)

WR- Victor Cruise (11.80)

WR- Reginald Wayne (6.70)

TE- Kyle Rudolph (13.60) (No Red Zone Reindeer jokes this week)

RB/WR- RB Clarence James Spiller (17.00)

WR/TE- WR Michael Wallace (15.40)

RB/WR/TE- RB Vicktor Ballard (4.20)

K- Robert Bironas (14.00)

DEF- Cardinals (17.50)

Total – 128.78

Bench- QB Jacob Locker (0.00)

Bench- RB Donald Brown (0.00)

Bench- RB Michael Bush (Bye)

Bench- RB Ahman Alex Green (7.30)

Bench- WR Lancelot Moore (Bye)

Bench- WR Jerome Simpson (0.00)

Bench- TE Martellus Bennett (0.90)

Bench- TE Dennis Pitta (3.30)

Bench Total – 11.50

-The Teabaggers - Week 6 Roster-

QB- Aaron Rodgers (51.22)

QB- Benjamin Rapistburger (19.92)

RB- Sir William Powell (7.80)

RB- Daryl Strawberry Richardson (9.90)

WR- Donald Jones (0.90)

WR- Malcom X Floyd (6.00)

TE- Todd Heap (0.00)

RB/WR- WR Brian Hartline (0.00)

WR/TE- WR Michael Crabtree (2.60)

RB/WR/TE- WR Christopher Givens (8.50)

K- David Akers (3.00)

DEF- Patriots (21.10)

Total – 130.94

Bench- QB Ryan Tannehill (19.30)

Bench- RB Matthew Forte (Bye)

Bench- RB Maurice Jones-Drew (Bye)

Bench- WR Brandon Tate (1.10)

Bench- WR Marques Colston (Bye)

Bench- TE Anthony Fasano (9.30)

Bench- K Rian Lindell (5.00)

Bench- DEF Bengals (18.80)

Bench Total – 53.50

Note: Hold the hell up. I never say this but… how the hell did I lose to this team!? Damn you Aaron Rodgers! And damn you Dixon Cider of ConVicks league fame for putting Aaron Rodgers on your trading block because it obviously pissed him off.

2) BALLBUSTERS (12 teams) (Sizzlers) (2-4) (4th in “Death Division”) (10th place overall) (5th in total points)

-The Sizzlers d. Texas Tommie by the score of 93 to 91-

In a rematch of last year’s league championship game, we finally (but barely) ended our losing streak!

In a perfect example of why I’m not a fan of running a team with a partner, I almost cost us this game by trying to appease my father who I know would not have approved of the decision I almost made: benching Hakeem Nicks for Kyle Rudolph. I kept Nicks in because I knew I would never hear the end of it if he went off and we lost another game on the bench and dropped to 1-5 which would’ve effectively ended our season. Besides, Nicks went off for almost 200 yards in the last game he played.

I felt Rudolph was the better play and he once again put up a monster game, say it with me now, ON OUR BENCH! Note to self: Don’t bench Rudolph again for any reason for the rest of the year… even if it’s his bye week… and even if there’s a fire.

In the same token, I didn’t think the Giants defense was going to have a good week but I didn’t want to drop anyone to pick up another defense and I certainly can’t drop the defense my dad wanted to draft. They were due for a big week though and are still overdue for a defensive TD.

Other than that, we made the right plays. We dropped Robbie Gould, on his bye week, for Rob Bironas, we played Kenny Britt on a whim, & I wouldn’t have been able to justify benching Ryan Mathews for Clarence James Spiller. Besides, who knew the Chargers were going to implode in the second half and give up the greatest comeback in Monday Night Football history to our starting QB?

Speaking of which, the Broncos weren’t the only team Peyton led to a comeback victory this week. The Sizzlers were down by 20 points entering Monday night with Peyton and Mathews left to play against Demaryius Thomas. Peyton helped us pull out a win. His services will be sorely missed next week… especially because Locker isn’t playing and now we need to pick up a QB off waivers to help us keep our winning streak going.

Waiver moves this week included the move for Bironas as well as dropping Jerome Simpson for Vicktor Ballard.

We dropped to fifth in points and are still in last in the “Death” division but we’re only two games out of both the league’s best record and a wild card spot (we’re also sixth in the CBS-generated league power rankings for what that’s worth). There’s still time… although it’s going to be quite difficult to keep our momentum going without a viable Week 7 option at QB at the moment. 

-Sizzlers - Week 6 Roster-

QB- Peyton Manning (24)

RB- Raymond Rice (18)

RB – Ryan Mathews (7)

WR- Hasheem Nicks (5)

WR- Miles Austin (3)

WR- Kenneth Britt (13)

K- Robert Bironas (14) (Sometimes a game really does come down to your kicker. I tied in the Kirby league last week because Bironas only put up one point. He was a big part of this win for the Sizzlers this week as our third-highest scoring player)

DEF- Giants (9)

Total - 93

Bench- QB Jacob Locker (0)

Bench- RB Clarence James Spiller (15)

Bench- RB Donald Brown (0)

Bench- RB Vicktor Ballard (3)

Bench- WR Andre the Giant Roberts (2)

Bench- TE Scott Chandler (1)

Bench- TE Gregory Olsen (Bye)

Bench- TE Kyle Rudolph (17) (There’s currently a poll in this league as to whether we should have a side pot next year to give to the team with the most bench points. SIGN ME UP!!!!)

Bench Total - 38

-Texas Tommie - Week 6 Roster-

QB- RG2+1 (26)

RB- Shonn Greene (27) (WHO PLAYS SHONN GREENE!? SERIOUSLY!!? I know he had no other viable options, but still!!!)

WR- BenJarvus Green-Ellis (4)

WR – Demaryius Thomas (9)

WR- Stevie Johnson (10)

WR – DeSean Jackson (8)

K- Mason Crosby (6)

DEF- Eagles (1)

Total - 91

Bench- QB Ryan Fitzpatrick (2)

Bench- QB Philip Rivers (15)

Bench- RB Shane Vereen (0)

Bench- RB Darren Sproles (Bye)

Bench- RB Matt Forte (Bye)

Bench- WR Laurent Robinson (0)

Bench- WR Leonardo Hankerson (3)

Bench- WR Brandon Marshall (Bye)

Bench Total – 20

3) CONVICKS (10 teams) (This Guy) (3-3) (7th place overall) (9th in total points)

-This Guy d. Password Is Taco by the score of 127.44 to 108.76-

Last year in the Kirby league, I came into my Week 6 battle with The Joan sitting pretty at 5-0 while she was at 0-5. Thanks to Hakeem Nicks being robbed of two TDs due to getting pushed out of bounds at the one-yard line, I gave Joan her first win of that season (It’s also worth mentioning that I was going against the only 0-5 team in this league that week as well and they were playing Ahmad Bradshaw who scored three times in that game. I lost that one too).

Sorry love, but now we’re even :D

With the third highest score of the week, which is rare for me in this league, This Guy helped contribute to a logjam at the top of the standings. There are four teams that are currently 4-2 which includes The Joan. There are also three teams that are currently 3-3 which includes me as well as Daniel San of Pond Scum Sports. However, I’m still ninth in points so that leaves me in seventh overall.

This was a week where I made a lot of moves. Wednesday morning saw me drop Kendall Wright and claim Ahman Alex Green off waivers, Wednesday afternoon saw me drop Donald Brown for Vicktor Ballard, Thursday night at 8:06 PM saw me drop Heathcliff Miller for Jared Cook to put into my starting lineup because I liked the matchup against the Polamalu-less Steelers defense too much, and Saturday morning saw me drop Arizona’s defense and Andre Roberts for the recently released Bengals defense and Malcom X Floyd who both went into my starting lineup as well.

The bye week blues continue for me in this league as I’m losing all three WRs that I started this past week as well as the Killer of Dogs. My backup QB, of course, is Locker. I also kinda need Gregor Jennings to play this week or else I’ll be down to only one WR (Colston) for the week.

In short, it’s going to take a lot of bold, cunning maneuvers, and possibly a trade or two, for me to keep this newfound momentum going. And, as if I needed any more motivation, Yahoo projects me to go 0-8 the rest of the way and finish in dead last at 3-11. Yet another sign that Yahoo and I were never meant to be together.

-This Guy - Week 6 Roster-

QB- The Killer of Dogs (26.34)

RB- Ryan Mathews (13.30)

RB- Douglas Martin (15.10)

WR- Julio Jones (10.30)

WR- Malcom X Floyd (11.00)

WR- Jeremy Maclin (25.00)

TE- Jared Cook (9.40)

K- Robert Bironas (16.00)

DEF- Bengals (1.00)

Total – 127.44

Bench- QB Jacob Locker (0)

Bench- RB Clarence James Spiller (21.00)

Bench- RB Vicktor Ballard (6.20)

Bench- RB Ahman Alex Green (8.30)

Bench- WR Gregor Jennings (0)

Bench- WR Marques Colston (Bye)

Bench- TE Kyle Rudolph (19.60) (Again: STOP BENCHING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Bench Total – 55.10

-Password Is Taco - Week 6 Roster-

QB- Peyton Manning (28.16)

RB- Trentylocks Richardson (7.40)

RB- Willis McGahee (13.80)

WR- Victor Cruise (17.80)

WR- DeSean Jackson (11.00)

WR- Randy Cobb (17.20)

TE- Scott Chandler (1.40)

K- Legatron (Greg Zuerlein) (6.00)

DEF- Ravens (6.00)

Total – 108.76

Bench- QB Russel Wilson (29.42)

Bench- RB Matthew Forte (Bye)

Bench- WR Brandon Lloyd (14.00)

Bench- WR Daniel Amendola  (0.00)

Bench- WR Donald Avery (9.90)

Bench- TE Jimothy Graham (Bye)

Bench- K Robert Gould (Bye)

Bench Total – 53.32

4) KIRBY’S ALL STARS (12 teams) (Powdered Toast Man) (2-3-1) (4th in Kel Division) (8th place overall) (4th in total points)

-Powdered Toast Man d. McCoy Meets World by the score of 148 to 59-

Quick note before I begin here: remember that whole deal about how I’ve been due to get a victory via a stat correction after losing a game two years ago via a stat correction? Well it wasn’t a victory, but a stat correction saw Jamaal Charles lose a point last week which saw me tie with World’s Wildest Police Videos instead of losing to them. Complaining about this and reminding the fantasy gods that they still owe me a stat correction victory would just anger them more so I’ll refrain from doing so and accept this tie with a big, cheesy grin.

Anywayz, the slow crawl back to respectability continues with an 89-point victory that saw me record the second highest point total for the week.

I’m still a ways away from the team with the league’s best record (5-1) but I’m only one game out of the lead in the Kel division, and a first round playoff bye, which is currently led by the now 3-2-1 World’s Wildest Police Videos.

This week saw me add Sir William Powell to my bench (I had an extra roster spot due to my trade for Jacob Locker so I didn’t have to drop anyone) and it also saw me drop Christian Ponder for Joshua Gordon. After putting up two solid games in a row, I’m thinking I may keep the kid around for another week or two.

I still have some holes on my roster that need to be filled if I expect to make a playoff push so my work isn’t done here yet… gotta keep on truckin.

-Powdered Toast Man - Week 6 Roster-

QB- Sir Matthew of Stafford Town (23)

RB- Ryan Mathews (12)

RB- Clarence James Spiller (20)

WR- Calvin and Hobbes Johnson (19)

WR- Hasheem Nicks (7)

WR- Demaryius Thomas (11)

TE- Kyle Rudolph (19)

Flex- WR James Jones (18)

K- Robert Bironas (16)

DEF- Bengals (3)

Total - 148

Bench- QB Anthony Romo (21)

Bench – QB Jacob Locker (0)

Bench- RB Sir William Powell (8)

Bench- WR Brian Hartline (0)

Bench- WR Joshua Gordon (18)

Bench- TE Jermaine Gresham (15)

Bench Total - 62

-McCoy Meets World - Week 6 Roster-

QB- Matthew Schaub (7)

RB- Trentylock Richardson (6)

RB- Joique Bell (4)

WR- Lawrence Fitzgerald (21)

WR- Pierre Garcon (0)

WR- Kevin Ogletree (0)

TE- Tony Gonzalez (8)

Flex- TE Brent Celek (7)

K- David Akers (4)

DEF- Eagles (2)

Total - 59

Bench- QB Jay Cutler (Bye)

Bench- RB Maurice Jones-Drew (Bye)

Bench- RB Shane Vereen (0)

Bench- WR Randall Moss (9)

Bench- WR Carolina’s Steve Smith (Bye)

Bench- WR Carlos Santana Moss (8)

Bench Total - 17

5) CCFFL (14 teams, points league w/ head to head games) (The Houston Oilers) (3-3) (2-1 in the AFC) (2nd in the AFC) (5th place overall)

-The Houston Oilers d. #1 Fantasy by the score of 110 to 81-

Head to head matchups in this league don’t mean as much as total points in the grand scheme of things but it still felt good to get a head to head win over one of my main arch rivals in this league. You can read all about our rivalry in my Fantasy Manifesto.

With the third highest score of the week, and my highest score of the season so far, The Houston Oilers have moved into fifth place overall and second in the AFC with 587 points. We’re still 47 points away from Dos W’s who are first in the conference with 634 points. We’re also still 63 points out away from another one of my arch enemies, The Pizans, who are in first place with 650 points. But the point is we’re making strides.

This week didn’t see me put in any waiver claims for anyone but I did jump on Vicktor Ballard, dropping Leonardo Hankerson, when I saw Donald Brown would be out for a few weeks. I almost foolishly started Ballard over CJ Spiller but, for once, I made the right call in a league where you can’t afford to mess up these decisions too many times.

I also put in a waiver claim on, and received, Denarius Moore when I saw he got cut. This helped me greatly because I would’ve had to go with Domenik Hixon as my third WR. Hixon still had a nice game but Moore had a better one and presents a great long-term option as a third or fourth WR going forward. If anything, he’s a bye week plug-and-play or a guy I can put in if Jennings misses more time.

Right now there are four teams standing between The Houston Oilers (587) and that elusive first career league championship: The Pizans (650), Dos W’s (634), the Mad Dogs (607), and The Hurricanes (592). There are also a lot of teams nipping at me waiting for me to make a fatal mistake like the Skins (585), the Young Bloodz (573), the KGB’s (572), & Willis (564) just to name a few.

Like I usually say, one bad week in this league could be the end of you. My good buddies, the Dirty Dogs, were contending for a while but one bad week that saw them score in the 40’s has knocked them all the way to last place (507) with a HUGE upward climb ahead.

If the team continues to get healthy and start producing the way I drafted them to produce, it’s possible that we can start to make a real run at this thing.

-The Houston Oilers - Week 6 Roster-

QB- Peyton Manning (29)

RB- Trentylocks Richardson (3)

RB- Clarence James Spiller (15)

WR- Julio Jones (7)

WR- Denarius Moore (16)

WR- Kenneth Britt (13)

TE- Owen Hart Daniels (5)

K- Robert Bironas (16)

DEF- Bengals (6)                

Total - 110

Bench- QB Sir Matthew of Stafford Town (23)

Bench- RB Lamar Miller (0)

Bench- RB Jizzybaluba Rodgers (4)

Bench- RB Vicktor Ballard (3)

Bench- WR Jeromy Simpson (0)

Bench- WR Gregor Jennings (0)

Bench- TE Gregory Olsen (Bye)

Bench Total - 30

-#1 Fantasy - Week 6 Roster-

QB- The Killer Of Dogs (24)

RB- Alfred Morris (9)

RB- Bronco Rashard Mendenhall (1)

WR- Brian Hartline (0)

WR- Kendall Wright (9)

WR- Calvin and Hobbes Johnson (12)

TE- Dennis Pitta (5)

K- Jason Hanson (17)

DEF- Rams (4)

Total - 81

Bench- QB Andrew Dalton (28)

Bench- QB RG2+1 (30)

Bench- RB Douglas Martin (7)

Bench- RB Steven Jackson (8)

Bench- RB Sir William Powell (4)

Bench- TE Brent Celek (5)

Bench- DEF Packers (12)

Bench Total – 94

-IN CONCLUSIONASTISY-

A 4-1 week is a nice change from the crappy weeks I’ve been having but I have a long way to go in all of my leagues if I want to establish myself as a contender. Maybe there’s still time to salvage my crappy drafts and make something happen.

Until the next time we meet, which will probably be tomorrow if I feel like writing something, may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Deuces,

-Ray-

*Dumpy: having a strong desire or need to unload the bowels; often accompanied by abdominal discomfort and an overall sense of uneasiness. The word is essentially a synonym for expressing an urge to *take a dump/shit/crap* - only in a more pleasant, concise manner.