{Current
Mood: Krampus-like}
So,
I,
like many of you, got to witness Calvin Johnson break Jerry Rice’s single
season receiving yardage record a few nights ago.
Any
time you can say that you witnessed a 17-year old record get broken, it’s a
pretty big deal (And, naturally, if I was still alive in the one fantasy league
I had Calvin in, I would’ve killed it this week. Of course all of my teams put up
monstrous numbers for me one or two weeks too late).
Leave
it to a Krampus with a horror movie moniker to kill the mood by insinuating
that this record was tainted in any way.
I’m
a big Calvin Johnson fan and even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be fishing around for
reasons to believe that this record was tainted like John Gruden was doing as
Calvin, his team, and his fans were all celebrating the biggest accomplishment
that they’re going to be able to celebrate this season at 4-11.
Time
for me to put my Krampus suit on and ruin John Gruden’s day by debunking any
argument he attempted to make for this record being even a tiny bit tainted.
Crappy
Argument #1: “A lot of Calvin’s yardage this season came in garbage time when
the game was already out of reach for the Lions and they had no choice but to
throw to get back into the game.”
Who
gives a shit?
Every
single year there are teams that play poorly enough that they have to throw a
whole lot in a good number of games in order to try and catch up.
Have
any of those teams ever given us a receiver who broke the single season yardage
record?
Ray
– 1, Gruden – 0.
Let’s
move on.
Crappy
Argument #2: “Jerry Rice’s record means more because his team went 11-5, won
the NFC West, and made it into the playoffs in 1995.”
Oh
gee, I’m sorry not every player in NFL history can have the pioneer of the West
Coast offense as their head coach. If anything, the fact that Calvin broke the
record under a head coach that doesn’t come from the Bill Walsh coaching tree
(like Gruden does) makes it that much more impressive.
Does
the fact that O.J. Simpson’s Bills didn’t make the playoffs in 1973 when he
became the first player in NFL history to rush for 2,000 yards taint the accomplishment in any
way?
In
fact, is this an argument that can even be made when you consider that the only
person in NFL history to set a yardage or touchdown record of any kind and win
the Super Bowl in the same year was Emmitt Smith with the Cowboys in 1995?
Go
ahead, look it up. I’ll wait.
By
the way, Jim Schwartz comes from the Bill Belichick coaching tree in case you
were wondering. Just thought I’d throw that out there.
Crappy
Argument #3: “He has a former #1 overall pick in Matthew Stafford throwing him
the ball.”
So
then why has no one broken Rice’s record with Tim Couch, Peyton or Eli Manning,
Michael Vick, David Carr, Alex Smith, Sam Bradford, Cam Newton, Andrew Luck, or
JaMarcus Russell throwing them the ball?
Crappy
Argument #4: “Matthew Stafford could very well break the single season record
for passing attempts next week.”
In
1994, Drew Bledsoe set the current record for passing attempts in a single
season with 691. His leading receiver was Ben Coates, a tight end, who had
1,174 yards, good for 10th in the NFL. No other Patriot player
finished in the top 20 or finished with 1,000 yards, making this argument null,
void, and nonsensical.
In
fact, the leading receiver in the NFL that year was Jerry Rice with 1,499
yards. Go figure.
And
I’m not going to even waste my time on an argument as illogical as the fact
that Calvin has been targeted an absurd 190 times this season. Reggie Wayne is
second in that category this year and has 577 fewer yards on only eight fewer
targets and far less double, triple, and bracket coverage than Calvin has seen.
It’s
not Calvin's fault he’s the only receiver worth throwing to on that team in the wake
of injuries and suspensions wrapped in multiple layers of suck.
From
everything we’ve seen to date, Calvin isn’t one of these asshole players that like
to showboat every time they gain positive yardage (In fact, some would even
stereotypically call him a class act). He broke Rice’s record and then
immediately ran over to the sidelines to give the record-breaking football to
his father.
In
spite all of this, Gruden showed a lot of nerve attacking the validity of this
record. It’s not every day that a record like this gets broken and a receiver
has a chance to break 2,000 yards on the season. It’s something that should be
enjoyed because you don’t know when you’re going to see something like it
again.
It’s
why my father always makes it a point to watch when Mariano Rivera, the
greatest closer of all time, hits the mound. Because once he’s gone, it’s going
to be a long, long time before we get to watch a closer like him again.
So
let’s at least wait a few days before we commence with the arguments about how
valid this record may or may not be.
If
Jim Schwartz gets canned at the end of the season, does anyone else think that
this story could possibly end with Gruden becoming the next head coach of the
Lions? It would be irony at its finest.
Until
then, let’s celebrate a fantastic accomplishment this Merry Krampus season and
I’ll see you all the next time here at Mr. McGibblet’s Fun House and Dojo.
Deuces,
-Ray
Ray Marz-
(2-time
PSS Around-The-Horn-style game winner, 2-time NWS Champion, current and 5-time
BWO United States Champion)
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