Santa is REALLY going to love the cookies in Colorado this year.

{Current Mood: Trying to Feel Jolly As Shit}

So I jotted down some things in Microsoft Word yesterday that I’m putting into blog form today.

This is a series of one-liners regarding whatever it is I feel like speaking about.

I’m sure we’ll be speaking lots on the next Pondcast of the overturning of the NFL’s bounty suspensions so I’ll save my thoughts on the matter for that proverbial rainy day.

So let’s go:

-I love how everyone just assumes the Lost Angeles Lakers are going to make the playoffs and are talking about how they’ll turn things around in time for the playoffs.

-How much longer is that going to be a valid statement?

-There are a lot of things fundamentally wrong with this team. They’re not playing good help defense as evidenced by Dwight Howard receiving NO help when Chris Duhon lets opposing point guards blow right by him, Kobe is still a Diva for as good as he is, and D’Antoni refuses to acknowledge that Pau should perhaps come off the bench or Howard should perhaps be benched in foul shooting situations late in the game until he gets better at it.

-He refuses to adapt. This is why he’ll never win a title as a head coach (OUTLANDISH PREDICTION ALERT)

-Are the 2012 Lakers secretly the 2011 Knicks?

-That may be a tad far-fetched but both teams have the same coach and a lot of gaping similarities.

 -RAY’S COLLEGE BASKETBALL UPSET SPECIAL ALERT: Butler will defeat Indiana this Saturday. Butler has some big wins this season already against the likes of UNC and Marquette and have been on the cusp of greatness for years. This will be that signature win that puts them over the top. The loss of Austin Etherington will hurt Indiana more than most people think.

-As good as the Big East is and as impressive as Duke has been, Louisville is still the team to beat in my mind.

-Speaking of which, why is every team in the Big East so good? Early, I know, but still impressive when you consider that I think an 8-1 team is better than both of the conference’s undefeated teams (Syracuse and Cincinnati).

-The Clippers, my pick to win the West, may not have the best record, but they showed in a win over the Raptors on Sunday that you can make a very good argument for them having the deepest bench in the NBA. And that’s with Chauncey Billups and Grant Hill still hurt. It’s telling that no Clipper starter has played in the fourth quarter for three straight games.

-Is it just me or are the Phoenix Suns trending further downward into complete irrelevancy by the day? They never should’ve let Grant Hill get away. #ShakesMyHead.

-I love how David Price is trying to act like the Rays didn’t just trade rape the Royals on paper (not to say James Shields won’t help the Royals because he will, but losing Wil Meyers could hurt KC and it could hurt them badly in the butt). I’m in full agreement with hardballtalk.com when they say that Price knew Shields was on the trade block for a while and also knows now that the Rays have freed up more money to either give him a long term deal or, at the very least, be competitive with other teams that may offer him a long term deal.

-As for the Royals: if they can at least be competitive enough to lure attractive free agents to them in the future, then maybe this trade will work out for them after all. Even if Shields isn’t with the team in two years, the potential up tick that he could bring to the win column could have a positive effect on this team that will be felt even after he’s gone.

-The Ravens are lucky that the Steelers and Bengals couldn’t take advantage of a loss to the RG3’s.

-But with the Broncos, Giants, and Bengals left on Baltimore’s schedule, they better hope for a few wins. Sure a few losses will keep them under the radar regardless of whether they get a first round bye, wild card berth, or a home playoff game as a three or four seed, but they don’t want to be too cold in case they have to play a team hotter than them in the opening round like the Colts, Bengals, Steelers, or possibly even the Jets (I can’t believe I just typed that).

-On the other hand, they’re good enough to stop any of those aforementioned teams and their hot streaks dead in their tracks.

-The question is which Ravens team will show up for the playoffs, assuming they don’t drop their last three games and fall out of the playoffs entirely.

-Unlikely, but stranger things have happened in sports which is why I’m still predicting a Ravens collapse.

-Oh, and don’t look now, but my pre-season predicted NFC West Champion St Louis Rams are still very much alive in the playoff hunt. Seattle may be surging but Chicago is not and they may lose Jay Cutler for a bit. The Bucs lost a must-win game and the Vikings won one of the same. By the way, the Rams face the Vikings this week and the Bucs next week.

-Just sayin.

-Nick Satan Saban as the next Cleveland Browns head coach could be an interesting scenario.

-It would be more likely to happen if ND ends ‘Bama’s hopes of a dynasty. If ‘Bama wins, Saban won’t be going anywhere despite all the offers and look-sees he’s going to get regardless of whether they win or lose.

-Although you have to wonder if/when he’s going to seek retribution for a failed stint as an NFL head coach last time around with Miami. For as much of a d00shbag as Pete Carrol is, he’s making the most of a fantastic situation in Seattle.

-Maybe a return to the place where Saban gained notoriety as a member of Bill Belichick’s coaching staff in Cleveland in the mid-90’s, along with the chance to coach Trent Richardson again, will be that proverbial second chance for Saban to right the wrongs of his last NFL coaching stint.

-Although there’s no guarantee that Pat Shurmur is going anywhere because sleeping on the 5-8 Cleveland Browns would be a bad idea with a possibly RG3-less Redskins team, a Broncos team with nothing to play for except a possible first round bye depending on whether they win and/or New England loses this week, and a slumping Steelers team who just possibly lost Willie Colon for the year again left on their schedule.

-Who’s to say the Steelers can’t lose out and possibly lose their wildcard spot to Cleveland? Again, crazier things have happened.

-NBC and Yahoo joining forces could save me from ditching Yahoo again when it comes to fantasy sports!

-I say this because I’m confident that, under the watchful eye of NBC, Yahoo’s fantasy servers won’t ever glitch again like they did this season.

-Romo played like hot garbage against the Bengals. I’m still not worried about Dallas overtaking the Giants for the NFC East crown, although a complete butt-hurting of the Saints helps quite a lot.

-Speaking of the Bengals… GENO ATKINS > You.

-The Jets deactivating Greg McElroy against the Jaguars was a mistake. I’m in concurrence with Profootballtalk.com when they speak of how the Jets must think Sanchez is “so mentally weak that he would have been looking over his shoulder if the option of benching him for McElroy existed.”

-Luckily the Jagauars are inept enough to make the Jets look like geniuses for going with Sanchez. And if they wind up in the playoffs, I shudder to think of the media circus that would ensue.

-Quick thoughts on whether the NHL owners are trying to tank the 2012 season on purpose? A lot of NHL teams would’ve lost money again this season so maybe that can be a form of justification for the douchebaggery of the owners.

-Food for thought: Do you think the NFL will eliminate kickoffs if Giants co-owner John Mara, who believes the league is “evolving toward the disappearance of the play,” reiterates this belief after his team benefited from kickoff returns against the Saints?

-I’m pleased to welcome a NEW MEMBER into Ray’s DOUCHEHAT HALL OF FAME. And that man is new Arkansas football head coach Brett Bailema: a man who looks to continue the bad karma surrounding Arkansas football head coaches.

-Over last seven games, Adrian Peterson has more yards rushing (1,101) than Christian Ponder has passing (962).

-So the Ravens fire Cam Cameron. All I know is that it’s an absolute joke that Kevin Gilbride outlasted him.

-EPIC TWATTER FAIL ALERT – Vince Young tried to petition Arizona to sign him through a tweet to Larry Fitzgerald. It’s kind of like indy wrestlers who, every month, lobby a company to use them even after a year or more has gone by and said company has still never responded to said wrestler. That’s what this is the equivalent of.

-FAIL OF THE DAY – a burglar named Jonathan Wise broke into the Oklahoma City home of Norm Houston, a kickboxer and personal trainer, and predictably got his ass kicked. #GoodJobGoodEffort.

-ProFootballTalk.com on major league commissioners testifying in NJ gambling case: “It’s unclear why testimony from the various commissioners was necessary; their own views on gambling are irrelevant to New Jersey’s effort to circumvent federal law.” (Ray’s Take: What they said)

-The (Texas) Rangers better hope their pursuit of Zach Greinke (and James Shields and BJ Upton) doesn’t piss off Josh Hamilton. That could make for some awkwardness if he gets re-signed.

Hard to believe that, at 5-8, the Bills aren’t mathematically eliminated from the playoffs yet. Making things even better is that Fred Jackson is out for at least the rest of the regular season. As a CJ Spiller owner in all five of my fantasy leagues, you don’t need me to tell you that this is the best thing that could’ve happened to this team.

-Before Jets fans get too excited about their most recent win, consider that the team knew Chad Henne very well from his days in Miami.

-Also consider that the one time they went deep to Justin Blackmon while Antonio Cromartie was guarding him, Blackmon had Cromartie beaten by a few yards. Why they didn’t keep attacking Cromartie deep with Blackmon just adds to the list of reasons why Mike Mularkey is not fit to be an NFL head coach.

-Marcus Lattimore will be a steal for whatever NFL team drafts him.

-I retweeted something from @sportspickle about it not being a coincidence that Bobby Petrino is now coaching a team whose mascot look like it skidded across pavement.

-If the Bears miss the playoffs, Lovie is gone.  

-Finally some words of wisdom from walterfootball.com and something that Philadelphia Eagles fans may not like to hear: “Jeffrey Lurie has gone through a divorce and his ex-wife is showing up to games for the first time in memory. He’ll be too distracted to can Reid.”

That’s all for Celebrity Jeapordy. We leave you with this awesome picture:

Deuces

-Ray Ray Marz-

-Current, and FIVE-TIME, BWO United States Champion-